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Shame Is An Emotion That Could Permanently Destroy Self-Worth

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Shame could temporarily, or sometimes permanently, destroy an individual's sense of value and self-worth, according to a recent study.

"In modernity, shame is the most obstructed and hidden emotion, and therefore the most destructive," Thomas Scheff, researcher and professor emeritus of sociology at University of California, Santa Barbara. "Emotions are like breathing -- they cause trouble only when obstructed."

Scheff said that shame, when hidden, can cause struggles not only for individuals but for groups.

For the study, published in the current issue of the journal Cultural Sociology, researchers examined the ubiquity of hidden shame and suggest it may be one of the keys to understanding contemporary society.

Scheff said that society that fosters individualism (ours, for example) provides a ripe breeding ground for the emotion of shame because people are encouraged to "go it alone, no matter the cost to relationships."

"People learn to act as if they were complete in themselves and independent of others. This feature has constructive and creative sides, but it has at least two other implications: alienation and the hiding of shame," he said.

Scheff noted that while shame is no less prevalent now than in previous years or decades or generations, it is more hidden.

 "Shame is a biological entity like other emotions, but people are more ashamed of it than they are of the others," he said. "The hiding of emotions is more widespread in modern societies than in traditional ones."

He adds that shame -- or the reaction to it -- can manifest itself in larger acts of aggression, such as wars and other military conflicts

. "Especially for leaders, both shame and anger are carefully hidden behind a veil of rationality," he writes in the article. "The Bush administration may have been deeply embarrassed by the 9/11 attack during their watch and their helplessness to punish the attackers. The invasion of Iraq on the basis of false premises might have served to hide their shame behind anger and aggression."

While some people are more susceptible to the effects of shame, for others the emotion is more manageable.

"Those lucky rascals who as children were treated with sympathetic attention from at least one of their caregivers feel more pride -- accepted as they are -- and, therefore, less shame and rejection," Scheff said.

Scheff says that "a good laugh" could help resolve hidden shame.

"Laugh at yourself or at the universe or at your circumstances, but not at other people. Most of the laughing we do in comedy is good. No matter the actors, we are really laughing at our own selves that we see in their foolishness," he said.

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