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Nov 24, 2016 11:12 AM EST

When it comes to changing someone else's mindset when you think they are wrong or when you try to get your own way, you may try all sorts of techniques to win over an argument or discussion. It's easy to have an argument with someone especially when they do not share the same views you do, but there are ways for you to get your point across while avoiding the conversation from turning ugly.

1. Don't try to win the argument. When you make it too obvious that you are attacking someone's ideas, they will build a defense wall and it will be a lot more difficult for you to get through to them. Try to take their advice and understand their points of view.

2. Be civil. No matter how irrational or ridiculous the perspective of the other person sounds, you should still know how to respect it. The only way for them to think logical is when you have already been able to establish a personal connection.

 "When people have their self-worth validated in some way, they tend to be more receptive to information that challenges their beliefs," Peter Ditto, a psychology professor at the University of California at Irvine, told New York magazine in 2014.

3. Ask how instead of asking why. In order to get people to open up, it is better to ask open ended questions, this is the advice of John Gottman, a psychologist who works with couples.

4. Be confident. According to a study conducted in 2013, the people who know how to act as if they are right are the ones who are listened to because people tend to be drawn to the expertise or the confidence level of a person, instead of what they are saying.

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