Feb 24, 2020 11:54 AM EST
7 Pros and Cons of Getting Married In College
Logic (and your parents) may tell you that getting married in college isn't the best idea. But, you can't help falling in love when you meet the right person. Do you follow your heart or do you follow the rules? College-aged weddings aren't unique wedding trends. Traditionally couples would get married fairly young. But times have changed. It's all so confusing.
To help answer this question we've assembled a list of 7 PROs and CONs getting married while in college.
Watered Down Wedding
Not all couples want a $40,000 wedding. But, in college, it's not even a possibility. This isn't a sign you shouldn't get married, but it may cause some regret in the future.
Couples receive more generous financial aid.
Student debt can follow people for years and makes thriving in the business world difficult. Married couples have the benefit of saving upwards of $29,000 in-state tuition fees. This shouldn't be the reason why should you get married. But, that's a massive amount of money for two people who physically can't work full time.
You'll get distracted
Planning a wedding takes up an immense amount of time. Once you're married you'll be living in the honeymoon phase. Having kids means you'll rarely sleep. Sex while studying rarely works out. With all of this going on, school work tends to take a back seat.
Life is less expensive
One of the most common things that get in the way of a good education is money. The cost of living and going to school force many students to work too much and study too little. Combining your expenses lightens the load for both parties and allows both the bride and groom to perform better in school.
You miss out on a social life
College is the period where you meet your lifelong friends. You succeed together, you suffer together, and you build stories together. It's also where you begin your professional network and do business together later on in life. Missing out on this is a major negative in life.
Prepares you for real life
Adult life is full of stress and responsibility. Planning and going through with a wedding AND going to school is an incredible balancing act. Pull this off and you'll have an advantage over your peers.
You aren't YOU yet
Your college years are formative. Most people drastically change as they discover who they are and what they want out of life. Getting engaged in college has a fair chance of resulting in finding out you're no longer compatible later on.
One of the married in college benefits is mutual motivation. You're responsible for another human being's happiness once you're married. To give your spouse the best life possible you're going to try to excel at school more than others. Plus, if you're ever feeling down you have someone right there to give you a push in the right direction.
You're more likely to compromise on your career
One of the most significant reasons not to get married is giving up on your dreams. Both of you graduate and both of you get job offers, in different cities. What do you do? One of you has to compromise and potentially blame the other for missing out on what you worked so hard for.
You get a head start
If you feel graduating college is good, you may delay it even further. By the time you feel it's "convenient", you may be too tired. Getting married early means having kids early. You'll have plenty of energy to play with them. And, they'll be out of the house before you're old and grey.
Healthy human beings require me-time. They need a quiet place and personal time for the self-reflection necessary to 'figure it all out'. Missing out on this can pile up over time and turn into resentment.
One of the most difficult things about going to college is suddenly having to stand on your own. This feeling of uncertainty can have a downward spiral and affect your grades and motivation. Having your one and only by your side replaces this feeling with the comfort and security you need to excel.
You could be doing it for the wrong reason
Many college-aged couples are getting married for the wrong reasons. Sometimes this is pressure from family and sometimes from religious traditions. It doesn't mean that you're destined for divorce, but it does mean that you may be missing out on some happiness.
Your best friend
Although you may not be experiencing the college party experience that Hollywood has made popular, you'll have a deeper experience. One of the benefits of being married in college is sharing your time with your best friend.
Even after reading all of these getting married in college pros and cons, you're going to have some doubts. As long as the CONs are superficial and the PROs mean the world to you, you're in good shape. However, if the negatives outweigh the positives you should consider waiting a little longer.
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