Weekly summaries of our group's Wednesday night Catan games

Spring Standings: (1) *Scott: 2 (2) *Pat: 2 (2) *Steve: 1 (3) *Kristen: 0 (4) *Player Number Five: 0

*denotes status as a regular player.

Summer champion: Pat

Fall: Player Number Five

Winter: Pat, Steve (tie)

Winter points: Kristen

Thursday's Settlers game (not a typo, but a calendar switch requested by Kristen so she could perform underground activities related to the group's weekend softball team) was a study in efficiency -- kind of like the Yankees' triple play the same night.

Roll. Assess. Possibly Trade. Pass. Never has the group been in such rhythm.

For close to the exact opposite reasons explaining Pat's earlier than usual initiation into puberty, the group moved like they never have before -- years after their first game together. Let's not forget twenty seven year-old and decade minor leaguer Yangervis (a combination of his mother's and father's first names) Solarte started the triple play on the same night he hit his first career major league home run. 7-11's refusal to accept my expired winning lottery tickets aside, Thursday was all about the favorable fruition of time.

As the self-proclaimed fastest player of the group, I was especially attuned to the game's San Antonio Spurs-like flow between 8:05 pm EST and 9:50 pm EST last night (that's two four-person games -- with a 15 minute break in between -- in less than two hours.) Usually, sessions end quickly when one person wins by three or more victory points, but that wasn't the case last night. Both rounds were close.

In the first, my hot start was nearly undone by Steve's usual greedy resource accumulation and Pat's four cities (neither had any specials). I won 10-8-8-6 (with fourth-place Kristen a settlement away from Harbor Master.) In the second, I was a turn away from winning before Pat rolled a favorable number, previewed his impending explosion, and then exploded as promised for three victory points and the win. The only downside to Pat's triumph was his starting position, third. As the game's biggest proponent of early openings, he won't be pleased with how last night's win raised his current average winning start of 2.6, second lowest by mere percentage points to Player Number Five's 2.57 average.

2013-2014 speed profiles:

Scott

Fastest when: Early and late. I try to structure my game plan around variety so I don't have to rely too much on trades (the main culprit of slow play). Thus, my first four or five moves typically involve few exchanges as I wait for the necessary dice rolls. Later in the game -- especially when I'm out of the running -- I begin to tire mentally and try to move my turn as quickly as possible. As sweet as rolling the dice feels, the pass can sometimes feel even sweeter (J.R. Smith could learn something from that statement). Lastly, few things excite me more than building a settlement or city and having three very specific cards left: sheep, wheat, and rock. Not much left to do after that then cede to the next player and hopefully scoop up a monopoly card.

Slowest when: The moment. With luck a big part of Catan, I'm a firm believer that one or two moves per game -- such as whether to build a city or purchase two d-cards and a road -- can be the difference when luck isn't an overriding factor. During such times, I slowly run through all the possibilities.

Pat

Fastest when: The end. Pat's brutally quick late-game wins are the reason I once launched a spittoon at his dining room walls following a particularly dicey finale in the winter season. No player wins games with less. Joe Girardi, who allocates playing time more than a P.A.L. coach, would love the way he efficiently uses his resources.

Slowest when: Sometimes, Pat's habit of efficiency does him in. He hates going a turn without contributing something to the bank (though lately he's been more apt to sit on high card totals, as have I -- more on that another time). As a result, he takes time to make something out of little, or, at the least, to play out his mental anguish before passing the dice. Pat may also be the biggest believer in trades. Even if it's a terrible offer, he can't resist "throwing it out there" as an "FYI." Luckily for those involved, Pat's no stone unturned approach makes his moves feel quicker than they actually are.

Steve

Fastest when: Emotion. Following a suspect robber play, Steve's quicker to deal than usual. That doesn't necessarily mean he's more prone to mistakes. In fact, the opposite could be said. When Steve's moving quick, it also usually means he's working off an organized plan.

Slowest when: Misheard trades. Late-game situations. No player responds more frequently to "wheat for sheep" trades (or something like it) by sending the player wheat instead of the requested sheep. Steve's also been land and resource locked over the last few months, meaning even when he's going good, he's usually left with a slew of resource cards and many options (most of which require 4-for-1 trade-ins). In last night's game, he was a road away from winning game one, but didn't have the right combo of cards.

Kristen

Fastest when: The Yankees/Knicks are on. Though a sports fan, Kristen doesn't have the same involvement as the other three players, meaning crucial situations involving Derek Jeter, Carmelo Anthony, and others won't delay her thought process.

Slowest when: Rhythm. Kristen will go stretches when she's the game's fastest player until she's desperate for a resource and can't find a suitor. She's been the instigator of some of the group's most legendary trades; off the top of my head I can recall some egregious 4-for-1's and 5-for-2's. Such blockbuster proposals take time (as evidenced by Carmelo's trade several seasons ago). Kristen may have also coined the deal-cementing term, "and a card on my next turn," used when a player offers cards he or she hasn't actually picked up yet -- a practice that remains controversial.

Kevin

Slowest when: Placing a road.

Last night's hot song: